As parents and children interact on a daily basis there is bound to be conflict. When you mix in different generations and parenting styles, it stirs up the works. It is time for compromise in order to have a peaceful home and happy family.
There is no such thing as perfect parents or perfect kids (no matter what the Grandma says.)
Children don’t always behave the way we would wish and when spouses and in-laws don’t always agree with our parenting style, there is bound to be frustrations, confusion, and uncertainty.
Here are just three questions that have come into our parenting blog in the past couple of weeks.
Some families are committed to sleeping in one bed when a baby needs to nurse frequently or a toddler has trouble going to sleep alone. But what happens when one parent or mother in law objects. Does the spouse resort to sleeping on the sofa in order to get a good night’s rest?
If this happens, then it is time to reconsider sleeping arrangements for baby or toddler. Most babies give up the middle-of-the-night nursing at about six months and will sleep through the night if placed in a crib nearby.
Toddlers and parents alike will get a more well-rested night’s sleep if the night ritual is firm, kind and consistent. Everyone needs and deserves uninterrupted sleep.
What do you think? What has worked for your family?
To end a discipline war, it is necessary to stop the power struggles and create an atmosphere of mutual respect. In order for discipline to be an effective learning experience it needs to have a natural or logical consequence.
A natural consequence is anything that happens naturally without any adult interference or stepping in to solve your child’s problems. So, if you forget your coat, you get cold. If you don’t do your homework, you get a bad grade.
A logical consequence is one that is designed to teach a lesson or provide a helpful learning experience. For example, if a child continues to hit another child, he is placed in time out.
What has worked for you? How did you handle this problem?
Whining And Crying
As a parent educator, this is the number-one complaint of parents. It is especially troubling when one parent or grandparent gives in, and the other tries to be consistent by using firm but kind discipline.
This confuses the child about whether you are serious about the rule. By being inconsistent, you are also teaching your child to become manipulative and devious to try to get its own way.
Try stating every time: “I am sorry, my ears can’t hear and understand whiny or screaming words. Calm down and talk to me in your respectful voice and I will listen.”
This assumes, of course, that you have taught and modeled what a respectful voice sounds like.
What do you think? Does this method work in your family?
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Judy Helm Wright is an intuitive wise woman who wants respect for all creatures.For twenty-five years she wrote and spoke about family relationships. She has now enlarged that circle to include our animal fur-kids.