3 Common Family Conflicts (EXPERT)

As parents and children interact on a daily basis there is bound to be conflict. When you mix in different generations and parenting styles, it stirs up the works. It is time for compromise in order to have a peaceful home and happy family.

There is no such thing as perfect parents or perfect kids (no matter what the Grandma says.)

Children don’t always behave the way we would wish and when spouses and in-laws don’t always agree with our parenting style, there is bound to be frustrations, confusion, and uncertainty.

Here are just three questions that have come into our parenting blog in the past couple of weeks.

Co-Sleeping

Some families are committed to sleeping in one bed when a baby needs to nurse frequently or a toddler has trouble going to sleep alone. But what happens when one parent or mother in law objects. Does the spouse resort to sleeping on the sofa in order to get a good night’s rest?

If this happens, then it is time to reconsider sleeping arrangements for baby or toddler. Most babies give up the middle-of-the-night nursing at about six months and will sleep through the night if placed in a crib nearby.

Toddlers and parents alike will get a more well-rested night’s sleep if the night ritual is firm, kind and consistent. Everyone needs and deserves uninterrupted sleep.

What do you think? What has worked for your family?

Discipline

To end a discipline war, it is necessary to stop the power struggles and create an atmosphere of mutual respect. In order for discipline to be an effective learning experience it needs to have a natural or logical consequence.

A natural consequence is anything that happens naturally without any adult interference or stepping in to solve your child’s problems. So, if you forget your coat, you get cold. If you don’t do your homework, you get a bad grade.

A logical consequence is one that is designed to teach a lesson or provide a helpful learning experience. For example, if a child continues to hit another child, he is placed in time out.

What has worked for you? How did you handle this problem?

Whining And Crying

As a parent educator, this is the number-one complaint of parents. It is especially troubling when one parent or grandparent gives in, and the other tries to be consistent by using firm but kind discipline.

This confuses the child about whether you are serious about the rule. By being inconsistent, you are also teaching your child to become manipulative and devious to try to get its own way.

Try stating every time: “I am sorry, my ears can’t hear and understand whiny or screaming words. Calm down and talk to me in your respectful voice and I will listen.”

This assumes, of course, that you have taught and modeled what a respectful voice sounds like.

What do you think? Does this method work in your family?

Stay in touch

Judy Helm Wright is an intuitive wise woman who wants respect for all creatures.For twenty-five years she wrote and spoke about family relationships. She has now enlarged that circle to include our animal fur-kids.

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Grandfather’s Advice to the Grandchildren After Blowing Out the Candles on His 78th Birthday Cake

Today I am 25. Really. That 25 Celsius, or 78 Fahrenheit, if you insist. I have a message on this occasion for my dear grandchildren and step grandchildren. It may surprise you to hear this, but it’s better being 78 than 25. Of course, everyone who wants to be 78 someday-and who doesn’t?-has to go through 25 to get there. It can’t be helped.

To those of you who have not been 25 yet-or even reached your teen years-that’s you, Charlie, Cadi, Buddy Miles, Madison, Dutch, Raleigh, Isabella and Caroline, take your time. Pace yourself-enjoy every year up to 25 and the HUGE number of years after 25-on your life path toward someday being where I am as of today-78 Fahrenheit. All the years are precious-and you have to pass every one in order to someday get to where I am now.

Along the way, you’re going to discover amazing things about stars and galaxies, about time and space, about health and sickness, about winning and not winning, about loving people, about a bazillion things, large and small, silly and important. Every day, you’ll discover really cool facts you didn’t know about animals, science, art and music. These are just a few examples-there’s so much more-too many things to list, or you’d miss your bedtime.

But just think how much you’ll know when you’re 25 Celsius, or 78 Fahrenheit. Well, that’s me-78. Can you believe how much I must know about everything, almost?

I’ll tell you what I’m going to do. In the next couple days, for only one penny, I, Popadon, 78 years old, will answer your questions. I’ll tell you whatever you want to know about anything. Remember-I’m 78 Fahrenheit-every day since I was your ages until now, I’ve learned stuff about nature, stars, time, space and other things. So, don’t miss your chance-ask me a question. For only a penny.

But, there is one rule. There’s a limit of three questions. So, think about what you really really want to know. Pick the most important questions you can think of. And here’s the point. It doesn’t matter so much if I know the answers. Chances are, I won’t-and I’ll admit it. You can Google the answers, or we can do so together. The idea is you learn just by asking questions.

Whenever you want to know something, ask a question. Never be afraid to do that. Don’t immediately accept the answers you get, especially if they seem a little strange or just plain crazy. Wait a little while before you believe what others say are the answers. Maybe yes, maybe no. Wait until you’ve had time to think about the answers you’re given and, if it’s important, to ask others what they think the answers are. Most of the time it won’t even cost you a penny to ask questions, or explore good answers. And most of the time there won’t be any limit on the number of questions you can ask.

And someday, a long long long long time from now, when you’re 78 Fahrenheit and you’re having a party and your grandchildren and step-grandchildren ask you questions, they’ll really get their money’s worth.

I love you all. With a little bit of random good fortune, your lives are will be truly wonderful.

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